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Safe Passagesupport for those struggling with homosexuality
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A. Releasing Control
1. Telling the true story of our lives breaks the power of deadly silence -- the hidden sin and wounding that would otherwise eat away at us (Psalm 32; "When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long."). The Lord's heart to draw the suffering into healing dialog--He is not uncomfortable with our woundedness and strong emotions, nor is He overwhelmed by them-rather, He moves towards us in them, and we are therefore able to fully experience and work through what is real concerning our lives.
2. In hiddenness unmitigated, we are left to experience torment, detachment, isolation, fear, deception (Prov 28, Hag 1, Mat 24, I John 1, Rev 3) entailing a lack of freedom to bring all we are into the presence of unconditional Love. His ability to embrace us in our own pain is without limitation or condition -- it is safe to feel the present grief, and to long for the fuller existence He desires with us. His advocacy for the unacknowledged longings of our hearts--He wants for us to be alive. (Isa. 64:4, Ps. 10:17, Ps. 16:11, Zeph. 3:17, Eph. 3:19; 1Pet. 4:13) The Lord's constancy and compassion is present in walking WITH us out of the pain we've been frozen in, as much as we need. His passion to reclaim us unto relationship. (Deut. 10:12, Ps. 17:15, 27:8, Isa. 55:6, Hosea 5:15, Amos 5:8, Micah 6:8, Matt 7:20-27, Mark 12:33, John 15:4, Phil. 3:7-10, James 4:6, 1John 5:20, Rev 3:17-20).
3. The cost is to relinquish false strength, apparent wholeness that frustrates the emergence and partaking of truly life-giving ways of being and relating (Ezekiel 16) -- whitened sepulchres. So He invites us into confession and repentance. These are central dynamics through which we enter into the healing reality of the Cross. He brings us out from darkness of hiddenness and isolation (and into healing connection).
Healing leads us to dis-invest from what is internally and relationally destructive (compulsive, false, shaming, isolating, distorting, etc.) Repentance as life-giving response -- not shame. See the "Buttoning" analogy (in the repentance teaching).
B. Obstacles to this Process
1. Harmful Views Towards the Struggle. (Shameful equating of temptation with sin or legitimate needs with lust (homophobia), secular equating of desires with needs or attractions with inner longings, view that acting out is a need which is inherently rejecting or tragic to defer, victim "responsibility" for abuser's sin and sense of irreparable damage, motivations of "just want to be normal" (another form of homophobia), expectation of instant transformation without facing deeper issues/ process, etc.)
2. Harmful Relationships with the Church. (Shame at struggle or at sexuality in general, instant "deliverance", glossing over , seeking to be "normal", sense of conditional love by Church and/or family, controlling or white-knuckling approaches, etc.--extremes ranging from "just stop it!" to "I have these desires therefore it's not a sin", or "if I have these desires it means that God created me this way", internalized homophobia from persons uncomfortable with the unfamiliar.)
1. Breaks hidden shame, aloneness, death
2. Provides support structure; accountability
3. Imparts clarity; objectivity and form
4. Unifies divided heart; defragmentation and empowering
5. Empowers repentance (II Cor 7, Isaiah 6)
6. Liberates work of the Cross; lifting of weight of sin
7. Breaks the veil of the self-protected heart; mercy
8. Mediates the presence of God; intimate dialog
9. Conveys His acceptance; holy yet safe
10. Enables self-acceptance; grace for needs
11. Affirms acceptance by others; demonstrates trust
12. Allows deep, specific cleansing and healing (James 5)
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