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Safe Passagesupport for those struggling with homosexuality
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"The hand that holds the sword has been trained not to come back from anything but victory..."
I thought upon this quote from Bernard Shaw's "Androcles and the Lion" while interceding for a friend in Baltimore who lay at the point of death from a serious bacterial infection of his heart. Convinced that it was not time to say good-bye to this dear grandfather who, through his genuinely thoughtful writings, was mentoring so many in their maturation and growth in Christ, my passion and faith in prayer was stirred--there was to be no yielding of ground in this battle against untimely death. The miracle of healing which ensued is a reflection of a different kind of miracle taking place in the lives of those whose wholehearted pursuit is the fullness of His creative intent--the quiet but no less miraculous work of sanctification which He continues in any who desire, amid their uncertainties about what is possible or bearable, that His character and grace be revealed through them. This is the mystery and beauty of an authentic journey of abiding in the Vine (John 15).
Though this walk of profound dependence upon His grace occurs in all believers who are wholeheartedly pursuing a deeper communion with God, there is a particularly vivid application to the issue of various forms of homosexual and heterosexual brokenness, where the prevailing world view defines as morally acceptable any relationship in which loving respect and commitment are upheld. Indeed, God is love, but He is more; He is glorious and holy as well, and has a creative intent which at times places boundaries upon our gratification and makes demands which call us to sacrifice the very things we find most difficult to relinquish. Acts and relationships that appear loving are not necessarily healthy or life-giving (Proverbs 16:25). The fact that something is entered into with a sense of gentleness, respect and honor does not imply that it contributes to or is consistent with personal wholeness. Two people could, with attitudes of tender care for one another, also share in a harmful pursuit or response (cynicism, escapism, blame-shifting, unforgiveness, as several examples) and be contributing to dysfunctions of retreat, withdrawal and oblivion--failing to encourage each another to remain present in life and walk through the journey fully experiencing its challenges and joys. A person could turn to various means of solace, but no matter how virtuously it were approached, the sad reality would remain of his or her retreat into confusion from the more threatening realm of genuine relationships--knowing another who is separate from one's self (and being known) without becoming lost in the other.
If God were only loving--if tolerance were His highest value--then a world in which people suffer terrible deformity and disability, a world in which dictators torture and devastate entire populations, would prove either His insanity and cruelty, or His impotence and indifference. But the way of His love is above ours and beyond our comprehension--He works a greater good even through that which seems so tragic and unfair to us (Genesis 50:20; Job 42, Isaiah 55:8). Whether or not human logic can rigorously explain it, the true standard for goodness comes from a realm beyond ourselves (Romans 3:21-26, Isaiah 64:6). In Matthew 5, Jesus shows us that we know so little about how to truly love God and others--His are incomprehensibly high standards which cause us to recognize our frailty and rely upon His mercy every moment, since the best of our intentions and motives still fall so far short of the glory and reality of His holy and sacrificial love.
For those who have experienced some of the joy of intimacy with Christ, ultimate personal liberation is found in saying with abandon, "I will not allow anything to define me outside of His grace; the frame of reference for my identity is to be rooted in nothing but relationship with Him; His vision alone is the template of my emergence, my hope of all becoming." (Col. 3:3, 1John 3:2) Radical reliance upon the Cross leads, amid whatever sacrifices of self-determination, to profound intimacy and relatedness. During my worst times of painful desolation and temptation, I pray that when I reach the end of my life I won't have to say, "I held something back; I took hold of my own destiny because I could not accept things that seemed so intolerable, so senseless and unfair." I pray none of us settle for a partial journey of discovery. In those areas where we do withhold our inner existence from Him, His grace is sufficient, and there is no shame--but we miss a deeper connection we could have enjoyed with the One Who gave Himself entirely for us. To us moderns, celibacy and other boundaries for sexual expression can seem so foolish and cruel, a denial of love. But a weight of eternal glory is hidden within a journey based upon trusting that He knows how to direct our capacity for love in a way that generates life in ourselves and in others around us.
Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis offers a vivid portrayal of one individual's painful discovery that the love she had thought so splendid and selfless was totally at odds with the ways of real love. The grieving process she faced in relinquishing her investment in a valiant but paradoxically devouring self led to the awakening of a hidden responsiveness she had buried. In a way analogous to what happens when we find our carefully buttoned garment to be "out of phase" (symbol of what covers and seems to provide for us but alienates us from God and self), she experienced the terrors and joys of being "unmade". Her repentance entailed a clear renouncement of any lesser remedy, both recognizing its illusion and willingly turning from it even though this meant the loss of all that was secure, and entrusting herself to her unknown Maker. Likewise, our journey of transformation calls for total abandon in entrusting our hearts to God Who has gone to the depths of human agony and borne our sorrows and shame (Is. 50:6; 53:4).
"And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death." -- Revelation 12:10-11
This can speak to each of us of reliance upon the sufficiency of the Cross, the sharing of our testimony of salvation and redemption, and the willingness to follow Him even at the cost of a broken heart and many tears during the lifelong journey of transformation. He held back nothing from us; He gave Himself in total vulnerability--a humble and willing sacrifice for those who did not yet know His love! May we find that greatest joy and communion of entrusting to Him the core of our personal identity and offering Him the deepest hopes and longings of our hearts.
Exerpted Scripture References
John 15:4-5 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
Prov. 16:25 There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
Gen. 50:20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
Job 42:1-5 Then Job answered the LORD, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee. Who is he that hideth counsel without knowledge? therefore have I uttered that I understood not; things too wonderful for me, which I knew not...but now mine eye seeth thee.
Rom. 3:22-25 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;
Isa. 64:6 But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.
Matt. 5:20-22 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: ... whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
Col. 3:3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God.
1John 3:2 Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
Isa. 50:6 I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting.
Isa. 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
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